


Marry Me!

by von_gelmini



Series: Starker Bingo 2019 [8]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: College Student Peter Parker, Green Card Marriage, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Peter is over 18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-28 04:56:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20420279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/von_gelmini/pseuds/von_gelmini
Summary: This is a fill for Starker Bingo 2019Prompt: Green Card MarriageTimeline? What is a timeline?Canon? What is canon?Just... roll with it.Everyone's alive.None of it makes sense.





	Marry Me!

Tony sat on the sofa next to Peter. “Peter… Would you marry me?”

“We haven’t even been on a date!”

Tony rolled his eyes. “We’ve been on plenty.”

Peter shook his head. “Hanging out here doesn't count. Avengers movie nights don’t count. Working in the lab doesn’t count. Dragging me along when you’re trying to buy car parts doesn’t count." He paused. "Sleeping with you doesn't count.”

Tony gave an exasperated sigh. “What counts as a date then?”

“I dunno. Dinner and a movie. Alone.”

“We’ve done that!” Tony started ticking off on his fingers. “We saw a movie. We ate food. We were together.”

Peter scoffed. “When?”

“Alien. Leftover Chinese. Together alone.”

“We were not alone. Everyone left because Nat warned them you’d ruin the movie!”

“It’s not my fault! If you’re going to have the tag line ‘In space no one can hear you scream’, you can’t have air WHOOSHING out of an airlock!” The counting fingers were back. “Alone. Eating. Movie. Date!”

“Okay. We’ve been on one date. Not enough to marry you.”

“I didn’t want to have to tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“It’s not like I fly commercial,” Tony said, complaining. “How was I supposed to know?”

Peter frowned, trying to puzzle out what Tony was failing to explain. “Wait… What… How were you supposed to know what?”

“That I’m not a citizen.”

“HOW?”

Tony shrugged. “My mom went into premature labor. I was born in Canada.”

“No.” Peter shook his head. “Your parents were American, so you are too.”

“You’d think! But there has to be a paper filled out and an amended birth certificate.”

“But you have a driver’s license.”

“Do I?” Tony asked. He fished in his wallet, not finding one.

“Oh my god! I’ve ridden in the car while you were driving without a license?”

“Who’s going to give a speeding ticket to Iron Man?”

“But… but… even if you don’t fly commercial you need a passport.”

“One would expect.”

“You pay taxes!”

“Caymans.” Tony said with a shrug.

“Utility bills.”

“Arc reactor.”

“Water bill?”

“Arc reactor hooked up to a desalination plant.”

“Bank accounts?”

“Either Stark Industries, Swiss numbered, or again, Caymans.”

“Social security card?”

“Pepper said I have one, but… wait… is five the number?”

There are nine numbers in it, Tony.”

“Kid, when you reach a certain level of… this is embarrassing… wealth, people stop asking these kinds of things.”

“You have cars! Car registrations.”

“Owned by Stark Industries for insurance reasons.”

“You’re a billionaire for chrissakes!”

“I don’t know! Pepper handled everything.”

“If she handled everything, you might be an American and not even know.”

“I know because I got a deportation notice. I’m an illegal alien!” Tony flapped a piece of paper in the air.

Peter snorted. Giggled. Broke out laughing. “Oh… my… Sorry… Tony… I’m trying… really… hard…”

“I’m glad my misery amuses you, kid.”

“But if the US kicks you out you’ll have no place to go.”

Tony shrugged. “Except a yacht, a Caribbean island, one somewhere in the Pacific but I think global warming’s drowned it, a place in Italy, a vineyard in France, a chalet in the Swiss Alps, a flat in London, two floors of a building in… fuck… Malaysia I think but it could be Madagascar, a hotel in Sydney, a manufacturing plant somewhere in China? Hong Kong? Are those even the same? Fuck! I don’t know these things! Peter, marry me! I’m being DEPORTED!”

Peter had slid off the sofa onto the floor he was laughing so hard. “Stop! I’m gonna pee!”

“Peter, please marry me.”

“Why… me?” His sides were hurting.

“I told Rhodey what I was going to do and he laughed more than you right now.”

“MORE than… Oh… that’s… hard to… believe…”

“Peter Parker stop that this instant!”

“So it was… Colonel Rhodes… then me?”

“I told all of them.” Tony ticked off on his fingers again. “Rhodey, Natasha, Thor, Bruce, Scott Fucking Lang! They all laughed at me when I told them. You have to marry me Peter! I was People’s most eligible bachelor for four years running!” Tony argued in his defense. “Do not make me ask the build-a-bear!”

The giggles started up again. “Roc… Rock… Rocket? No way… he’d ever… marry… you.”

“Stop laughing at me! I refuse to be married to the Tree!”

Peter brushed off the option. “He’s too young.”

“_THAT’S_ the impediment? He’s a fucking TREE.”

“I can’t marry you Tony,” Peter said.

“Why?”

“Because you’re not in love with me.” Peter sounded a little sad.

“Wait… wrong pocket… No not that one… oh for fuck’s… here it is. Peter Parker, will you marry me?”

Peter froze. “Oh… That’s a… Are you…” Peter asked quietly.

“Yes Petey, I’m serious.”

“I actually believed they were going to deport you!”

“I told them you’d fall for it.” Tony started laughing.

“I hate you!”

Tony shrugged. “If you _really_ don’t want to marry me…” Tony started running down the hall. “Groot!”

Peter chased after him. “Yes! Get back here! I said yes!”

_“I am Groot?”_

**Author's Note:**

> My Starker blog on tumblr is [starker-stories](https://starker-stories.tumblr.com/).  
Come on by and visit.


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